When “The Best” Is Also Someone Else’s Worst

We often hear, “My parents are the best in the world.” And for many, that’s true. But what we rarely talk about is this: some of those “best” parents at home are also the ones terrorising others, in offices, schools, churches, and communities.

To you, they may be gentle, funny, prayerful, and sacrificial.
To someone else, they are abusive, manipulative, or cruel.

And just because your experience was pleasant doesn’t cancel out someone else’s pain.

I’ve seen too many situations where someone passes on, and suddenly everyone is told to “be respectful,” “show grace,” and “only speak of the good.”
But what about those who carry the wounds left by that person’s decisions?

Grief is valid. But so is truth.

Those lecturers molesting students ,both boys and girls are parents too.
And those students belong to families who cry for justice.

That uncle who plays guitar in church might also be the same man who gaslights his co-workers, belittles his wife, or harasses the help.

That woman who hugs children in her compound and prays over them might also be the one who insults her subordinates and abuses her influence.

We can’t afford to preach blanket grace while erasing people’s realities.

And yes, many truly live honourably, kind to their families and kind to strangers. Those parents deserve every flower.
But we must learn not to judge goodness by title or proximity.
People are carrying scars, and some are waiting for permission to speak, heal, and breathe again.

So next time someone says, “They were a good parent,” remember:
That doesn’t mean they were a good person to everyone.
Honour your memory.
But also honour someone’s truth.

Because healing doesn’t come from silence.
It comes when all voices are heard.