The Weight of Friendship : A Love That Cuts Deeper

Friendship is a relationship I hold closely to my heart. I have never been heartbroken in a romantic way, maybe because I never involved myself in one unless it was time to get married, and the person I got involved with, I married. But when it comes to friendship, I have known heartbreak. And from where I stand, I think friendship breakups hurt even more than romantic ones, except marriage.

You see, I don’t take friendship lightly. I commit myself to it fully. I invest, I nurture, I believe in it. Over time, however, I have come to realize that the way I take friendship is not the way others take it. Time and time again, I have watched people betray the trust I placed in them, and because of the values I hold dear, that friendship cannot continue.

Choose Your Friends Wisely

Friendship is not something to enter into casually, because the people in your circle today will be your children’s mentors tomorrow. Whether directly or indirectly, their presence will shape you and those around you. That’s why friendship must be intentional.

If you discover that you are more invested in the friendship than they are, walk away. Friendship should not be one-sided. Some people are only around because of what they can gain, and others stay simply because they know you will always come through for them.

If the effort is not mutual, if the care is not reciprocal, leave.

Let Friendship Be a Choice, Not an Obligation

One of the greatest mistakes we make is allowing friendships to happen to us, instead of choosing them. Choose your friends—don’t let them choose you. Surround yourself with people who share your values, who walk in integrity, who understand the depth of true connection.

Some friendships are beautiful, built on trust and mutual understanding. Others are hollow, existing only because one person keeps giving while the other keeps taking.

Friendship is a gift, but it should never be a burden.

So be intentional, be wise, and above all, know that you deserve a friendship that gives as much as it receives.